RUNNING WITH TODD: TINA INGRAHAM ON LOVE, LOSS AND LEGACY

August 23, 2025 • 01:17:10
RUNNING WITH TODD: TINA INGRAHAM ON LOVE, LOSS AND LEGACY
Never Just A Dog
RUNNING WITH TODD: TINA INGRAHAM ON LOVE, LOSS AND LEGACY

Aug 23 2025 | 01:17:10

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Show Notes

Todd Ingraham’s courage and spirit touched thousands through his marathon running, his work with his police dog Chase, and his battle with Motor Neurone Disease.

After his passing, his wife, Tina, sat down with your host John Littlefair, to reflect on Todd’s life, the love they shared, and the impact he continues to have. This is a tribute to the man whose story inspired so many, told by Tina Ingraham.

 

Connect with your host John Littlefair via email below

[email protected]

Official Never Just A Dog Website

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Earlier this year, I recorded an episode with Todd Ingraham, a champion marathon runner, a devoted police canine handler with his dog Chase, and a man fighting motor neuron disease with remarkable strength. That conversation has since become one of the most downloaded episodes of this podcast worldwide. His humour, his courage, his the love for his family, marathon running and for Chase said everything about who he was. When his wife Tina told me he had passed away, I felt this loss very deeply. In this episode, Tina joins me. She is grieving, but she is also determined to honour Todd not just as her husband, but as the man who inspired her in life and in running. This is a tribute to Todd, the runner, the dog handler, the husband and the man who continues to inspire. This is Tina Ingraham's story. I'm John Littlefair and welcome to this very special episode of Never Just a. [00:01:36] Speaker B: I didn't know whether we were going. [00:01:37] Speaker C: To talk about the Willy Wagtail at all, if it's. [00:01:39] Speaker D: Of course we are about Willy Wagtails in particular. Many believe singing Willy Wagtail brings good luck and protection, especially in some Aboriginal folklore. [00:01:51] Speaker C: Yes. [00:01:52] Speaker D: Now, spiritual guidance. In some cultures they are believed this is the Willy Wagtails to carry the spirits of loved ones and can be a sign of their presence. [00:02:03] Speaker C: Yes. [00:02:04] Speaker D: Checked quite a few sources and it kept circulating back to the. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Good. Good. Yes, because I did as well and I found a few that were, you know, it's a messenger can relate to death, which I also, you know, I. [00:02:20] Speaker C: Was having visits from Willie Wagtails before. [00:02:22] Speaker B: Todd passed and was believing it was. [00:02:24] Speaker C: The spirit of his mother. [00:02:26] Speaker B: And so I was kind and that's. [00:02:28] Speaker C: My sister and I, when we first. [00:02:29] Speaker B: When she, she had obviously. Well, not obviously. Cindy believed in it for a long time and it was for her. [00:02:37] Speaker C: She straight away pointed to the Willy. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Wagtail who was listening to us and said, well, that's, that's Sandra, which was Todd's mum. And then. So now I see two Willy Wagtails, but Todd's mum and dad have passed. So the two that I saw today, I'm now questioning, like, is it Sandra and Todd or is it Todd and Dennis, his dad, because his dad passed. [00:02:59] Speaker C: Away when he was quite a long. [00:03:01] Speaker B: Time ago, so they've got a lot of catching up to do. So Tess and I were discussing that. [00:03:06] Speaker C: Who are the two that we're seeing now? [00:03:08] Speaker D: And Tess is Todd's sister. [00:03:10] Speaker B: No, Tessie's Todd's eldest stepdaughter. [00:03:12] Speaker C: So my. [00:03:13] Speaker B: Yeah, but Kelly, Todd's sister, gets visits At a few different cafes. She works around Perth and she's often in different suburbs. She sent me pictures at different cafes. [00:03:25] Speaker C: With a Willy Wagtail there. [00:03:27] Speaker B: You know, we've kind of. Whether it's us all clutching onto something. [00:03:31] Speaker C: It'S certainly, it's certainly helping, that's for sure. [00:03:35] Speaker D: Now there's A doctor called Dr. Bill Guggenheim, if I've pronounced his name correctly. He's a former counselor and author and has dedicated years to researching after death communication experiences. He notes that animals often play a significant role in these interactions, acting as spiritual messengers and comforters. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Yes, I've kind of. You can imagine my algorithm now online because I've done some researches and yeah, animals feature heavily in, you know, kind of signs or symbols representing, you know, a spirit, spiritual connection or communication. And it's. That's been the case for me. [00:04:19] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. [00:04:20] Speaker C: I mean other people have said, you know, lights, different alts and that kind of thing. [00:04:25] Speaker B: I mean I think, you know, the feeling that I get that Todd's with me, I have that. Whether that's because of how strong our. [00:04:32] Speaker C: Connection was, I'm not sure. [00:04:34] Speaker B: But yeah, definitely. There's a lot of coincidences if it. [00:04:37] Speaker C: Happens with these little visits from Willy Wagtails. Most definitely. [00:04:42] Speaker B: And just the behavior of the Willy. [00:04:44] Speaker C: Wagtail is very much like Todd. [00:04:46] Speaker B: He kind of doesn't need to say much, but he lets his presence be. [00:04:49] Speaker C: Known and you know, he's there. [00:04:50] Speaker D: Willy Wagtails definitely let their presence be known. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Or that day that we were having coffee and that one was on the. [00:04:56] Speaker C: Table just behind us and then on the ground as if to say, hey, I'm here, I know you two are talking about me. [00:05:03] Speaker D: I was thinking as well how it was by pure luck that we met. Can you remember that day? And I think I asked you not in a weird way. My goodness, you look fit. You must be an athlete. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Do you remember that? That's how I remember it as well. I was in buying something from the. [00:05:19] Speaker C: Place that you used to work and. [00:05:21] Speaker B: Yeah, it was on. It was in summer and it was a. Earlier that day it had a big. [00:05:25] Speaker C: Coaching session and I run with the. [00:05:28] Speaker B: Crew that I coach and. And we were all in reasonably good. [00:05:31] Speaker C: Shape at that point. [00:05:33] Speaker B: And yeah, you made a comment and that's how we got chatting. [00:05:35] Speaker D: No, and once you mentioned running, it was like overloaded on I used to run. [00:05:40] Speaker B: Well, I think we're both talkers. So quick I'll just drop in here and grab something for two minutes. [00:05:45] Speaker C: Ended up being 30 minutes and here. [00:05:47] Speaker D: We are in the studio, all that time away. It was interesting, I'm not sure when I mentioned to you about a podcast and then. And what it was about, like, dogs and people in life and grief and loss and love and everything in between. And then do you remember walking away from that initial. The conversation on that? And just how did you bring that up with Todd? [00:06:07] Speaker B: Yeah, there was a few connections as soon as you mentioned. Well, one, Todd had. Had started listening to a lot of podcasts over, well over the last few years. And it's a way that. Because he was. He was so interested in lots of things as well, and he wasn't a massive reader. However, he was totally on top of and up to date with so much relevant information on lots of different topics. So he was always listening to a. [00:06:32] Speaker C: Podcast, whether it be a military podcast. [00:06:35] Speaker B: About a battle that took place in numerous countries around the world, whether it was a cycling podcast about different races or just bike mechanics. And so it was more kind of general knowledge and history podcast that he was listening to. But of course, his interest in. In dogs in particular has always been strong with him and his love of talking about Chase and his pride in. [00:07:01] Speaker C: Talking about his work with canine, the. [00:07:04] Speaker B: K9 unit, he loved. He would love any opportunity to talk about it. And so when you mentioned your podcast and just in the title, when I got home, I said, and of course. [00:07:14] Speaker C: Because I was longer than I was gonna be, I was like, Cause Todd. [00:07:17] Speaker B: Would always say to me, I can't. [00:07:19] Speaker C: Take you anywhere, because if I made. [00:07:20] Speaker B: Eye contact with someone, I. I start a conversation or the person will open up to me. And he goes, I don't know what it is. Like, people just. He goes, you're too nice, or you talk. And I'm just a talker, though. And so I, of course, took ages and I said, I've just met this guy. We need to listen to his podcast. And so I wrote it down for him and so he could look it up, and then he must have at some point. [00:07:46] Speaker C: And by that point he was in a wheelchair already. [00:07:48] Speaker B: So he was kind of for someone who would never really sit still, suddenly. [00:07:53] Speaker C: Was forced to sit still. [00:07:55] Speaker B: And so in between you and I seeing each other, and then the next. [00:07:59] Speaker C: Time was a couple of weeks, but. [00:08:02] Speaker B: I'd also mentioned you to a friend. [00:08:04] Speaker C: Who I run with, and she had. [00:08:06] Speaker B: Met you, and she goes, oh, he's got a podcast. And so we had been talking about you, and I was like, oh, that's. [00:08:13] Speaker C: That's very cool. Because she and I have similar Opinions on things. [00:08:17] Speaker B: And then I. I knew that Todd. [00:08:19] Speaker C: Was pretty reluctant to have anyone really. [00:08:22] Speaker B: New in his life or, you know, he was. [00:08:25] Speaker C: It was getting to the point where. [00:08:26] Speaker B: You know, things were becoming difficult, but we were. He and I were still getting out every day. [00:08:32] Speaker C: I could still get him in the car at that point, and we were. [00:08:34] Speaker B: Still taking the dogs out. Like, that was our outing every day. So we would take the dogs to. [00:08:39] Speaker C: One of the local. We had either the river we went to or Charles Raleigh Reserve or Cream Green. [00:08:45] Speaker B: And then you and I had spoken the second time, and I said, I. [00:08:50] Speaker C: Think you guys should just meet, because. [00:08:52] Speaker B: I think once you meet, there'll be an instant connection and I won't have. [00:08:56] Speaker C: To do any hard sell at all. [00:08:58] Speaker B: And then so we. [00:09:00] Speaker C: I knew when you were working, I'd said to you, we'll come up Saturday. [00:09:03] Speaker B: Afternoon to have a coffee next door. And so that's when I think we. [00:09:08] Speaker C: Had come up in the wheelchair because we lived. We were not living far. And I checked and you were in there and you came out and we stood out the front of the shop for a while. [00:09:16] Speaker B: And the next time you guys saw. [00:09:19] Speaker C: Each other was when you did the recording. [00:09:21] Speaker B: I just could sense that you would. [00:09:23] Speaker C: Connect for lots of reasons. [00:09:26] Speaker B: Judd was more than happy to talk. [00:09:28] Speaker C: To all day and all night about. [00:09:29] Speaker B: Chase without talking about himself. [00:09:33] Speaker C: He never, you know, wanted to talk about himself at all. However, the way you're able to, the way that the recording went with Todd. [00:09:40] Speaker B: Was absolutely perfect because he did end. [00:09:45] Speaker C: Up talking about his background into running. [00:09:49] Speaker B: And so many people who had known. [00:09:51] Speaker C: Todd for a long, long time, that's. [00:09:54] Speaker B: The most they've ever heard Todd talk. [00:09:55] Speaker C: Because like I've said to you before, and I've said it in other interviews. [00:09:59] Speaker B: I've done, Todd was an incredible listener. [00:10:01] Speaker C: And could sit in a room full of people, sit within noise, and not say anything at all. [00:10:07] Speaker B: Didn't feel the need to press his. [00:10:09] Speaker C: Opinion or be heard at all. [00:10:12] Speaker B: And so I knew all these facets of Todd and the layers to Todd. [00:10:17] Speaker C: But not all people did. [00:10:19] Speaker B: So it was such a blessing to. [00:10:21] Speaker C: Have that recorded, his voice recorded, because. [00:10:25] Speaker B: Even, like I said, people who've known him for decades actually didn't know how intelligent he was, how interesting he was, and that there's so many dimensions to. [00:10:34] Speaker C: Todd that some people might have just thought, you know, so black or white, he's a copper who runs. That's it. [00:10:39] Speaker B: But there's so much more. There was so much more to him. [00:10:43] Speaker C: Didn't matter if you were two and. [00:10:45] Speaker B: A half hour marathoner or a four hour marathoner, you're out there doing the same thing. And what he would get frustrated was it was by, you know, people who. [00:10:53] Speaker C: Are biomechanically and naturally talented at running. [00:10:56] Speaker B: Who didn't push themselves hard. He was more impressed with a person who biomechanically wasn't as blessed but is out there working twice as hard, might not be as fast, but he was. [00:11:08] Speaker C: More impressed by that than some of. [00:11:10] Speaker B: The elites who not say elites work. [00:11:13] Speaker C: Very hard as well. [00:11:14] Speaker B: But he would see anyone out there. [00:11:17] Speaker C: Give as much respect or if more to other, to people out there didn't matter. He didn't care how far someone ran or didn't run. [00:11:25] Speaker D: Part of recording with Todd and obviously editing and spending so much time within his voice, if that makes sense. I believe it was the Melbourne marathon. He was running up and trying to chase one, one of the other competitors down. And he says, and then I broke him. And he still had 10 or 15 k's to go. And I'm going, I'm broken just listening to that. I'm cramping. Listening to his voice right now. And then on you go to the next part of the marathon, which is another, what, 10 or 15 kilometers? [00:11:54] Speaker B: I know. And Todd was well known for, you know, he could, he really emptied the tank. He wasn't afraid to a lot of, a lot of people, me included, I. [00:12:04] Speaker C: Was a very conservative racer, so I. [00:12:07] Speaker B: Never kind of finished a race and. [00:12:09] Speaker C: Fell across the line. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Todd spoke many times about having tunnel vision for the last, you know. Well, in a 10K, you'd talk about. [00:12:16] Speaker C: You know, the last kilometre having tunnel vision. [00:12:18] Speaker B: In a marathon, it could be for the last 5Ks. [00:12:21] Speaker D: Tunnel vision in what way? [00:12:23] Speaker B: Just that you've, he's just in the hurt locker so much that your body has gone so lactic and he's pushing so hard that he literally. That's incredible. Yeah. And he had an. Not all people can do that. I certainly couldn't. [00:12:36] Speaker C: He would. [00:12:37] Speaker B: He was an exceptional racer, so exceptional trainer, but also a very good racer and, and backed himself. And so, you know, he called when the body was telling you you're pushing yourself, for example, like having tunnel vision and almost like your legs buckling. He would call that feedback and feedback that he's, he's emptying the tank, that he's pushing himself. And that was a sign that he was in great shape. Whereas a racer like me, I would finish and go, oh, I feel pretty good. [00:13:06] Speaker C: And he's like, well, what's the point. [00:13:07] Speaker B: Of that I frustrated him because I would always pull up really well after a race. He could, some, there was some days after marathons where he was, he was shuffling because he had, he had, he had brutalized himself so much that, you know, he would always say, you just. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Need to race harder. [00:13:26] Speaker B: And so that's, that's what made him. And that's why people have so many. [00:13:31] Speaker C: Memories him, because he would be noisy. [00:13:33] Speaker B: He would give a bit of mouth as well. And so he had no problem while racing. Yeah, yeah. [00:13:37] Speaker D: Would he really? [00:13:38] Speaker B: So really mild. I love that. Yeah. Just, you know, as I've explained, you. [00:13:43] Speaker C: Know, he can sit there and not. [00:13:44] Speaker B: Say anything, but when he was training. [00:13:46] Speaker C: And racing, yeah, he was pretty renowned for. [00:13:48] Speaker B: And you heard at the funeral a. [00:13:50] Speaker C: Few of the stories he would absolutely tell people if they weren't running fast enough or is that the best you can do? [00:13:55] Speaker B: And, and to those, to that top group, extremely supportive of other people. You know, he would cheer people on the other way. But yeah, I've been, I was within group training groups with him and we've. [00:14:07] Speaker C: Rocked up to a new group. [00:14:08] Speaker B: I kind of just settle in quietly and he's like, oh, is anyone here gonna run fast today? And I'll be going, oh my gosh. But of course he'd get out the front and lead the pack. And so he, he just wanted people just to push themselves and believe that to be able to race hard, you. [00:14:24] Speaker C: Had to train hard as well. [00:14:26] Speaker D: Ticking over in my brain about country football, it was good though. I mean, definitely amateurs. But there was no hiding. [00:14:36] Speaker B: No. [00:14:36] Speaker D: Especially some coaches would, you know, I wasn't the most talented person going around, but I believe I just worked hard enough to keep my spot and then worked harder to keep my spot in the league side. But when things were below par, you know, they'd let you know very quickly. [00:14:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:54] Speaker D: You know, so there was no. There's no leave passes there. [00:14:57] Speaker B: No, no. And I think he was. Todd didn't see himself as, as naturally talented. [00:15:03] Speaker C: He just knew he worked hard. [00:15:06] Speaker B: And it depends who you talk to. [00:15:08] Speaker C: Some people say he wasn't talented at. [00:15:10] Speaker B: All and it was his hard work. And then others, of course say he's. [00:15:12] Speaker C: The most talented runner they've ever met. [00:15:14] Speaker B: So it depends on where they are as runners as well. But Todd's own opinion of himself was that he was a decent state level runner. [00:15:24] Speaker C: That's what he truly believed of himself. [00:15:27] Speaker B: So. So he was truly humble. And I think, you know, since his passing, he knew that he'd left A little mark on WA running. [00:15:38] Speaker C: I think he would be blown away if he knew. [00:15:40] Speaker B: And I think the tribute that the marathon club did for him for the Rottnest Marathon, I was so, so pleased. [00:15:48] Speaker C: That he was alive to hear that because he. [00:15:50] Speaker B: He got a bit of a feel. [00:15:53] Speaker C: For the impact that he was going to leave when he did pass away. So that was a. A blessing that our friend was the race director, reached out and told or. [00:16:01] Speaker B: He asked me how I'd feel about. [00:16:05] Speaker C: This perpetual trophy being named after Todd. You know, he of course wanted Todd's blessing to go ahead with it. And initially Todd said, no, that's ridiculous. There's gotta be other worthy people to. [00:16:15] Speaker B: Do that, to name it after. [00:16:17] Speaker C: And I said, well, your record stood. [00:16:19] Speaker B: For over two decades, and it was run during. Used to be run in October, so. [00:16:25] Speaker C: During really hard conditions because it was a lot warmer then. [00:16:29] Speaker B: And it only got broken a few years ago and it was only broken by 40 seconds. So it's the perfect race to be named. Do you know this perpetual trophy to. [00:16:37] Speaker C: Be named after you. [00:16:38] Speaker B: And so, you know, and then I. [00:16:40] Speaker C: Said, I'm just saying yes. So. [00:16:42] Speaker B: But he did kind of nod at me as I. [00:16:44] Speaker C: As I replied to our friend. [00:16:58] Speaker B: When Todd and I met, there was lots of reasons why we connected instantly, but there are lots of things about running philosophies that we both believed. [00:17:07] Speaker C: And he saw how hard I was working as a single mom and the way I was training and we were. [00:17:14] Speaker B: Both going to the same races and. [00:17:16] Speaker C: That kind of thing. [00:17:17] Speaker B: And so I took that as a. [00:17:19] Speaker C: Massive compliment that he thought that I was a hard worker as well, because. [00:17:22] Speaker B: That'S in his eyes, you know, to be. For Todd to say he was proud. [00:17:26] Speaker C: Of you or applauded your work ethic. [00:17:29] Speaker B: They'Re two of the highest compliments you. [00:17:31] Speaker C: Can get from Todd. [00:17:32] Speaker B: I was thinking about you saying when. [00:17:33] Speaker C: You were editing, when you were, like. [00:17:35] Speaker B: Listening back, and it was full of Todd's voice. [00:17:37] Speaker C: It's really lucky you recorded when you did, because it was only a matter. [00:17:42] Speaker B: Of weeks before I was going to. [00:17:44] Speaker C: Check what date you guys actually recorded, so I could give it a bit exactly the timeframe. His rapid progression with motor neuron, it. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Felt like it sped up towards the end. And I guess once it started, as. [00:17:57] Speaker C: It was traveling up his body, once. [00:17:59] Speaker B: It hit his respiratory system, it started. [00:18:02] Speaker C: Affecting the way he could talk, the. [00:18:04] Speaker B: Strength of his voice, and also the. [00:18:06] Speaker C: Length of time he could talk for. [00:18:08] Speaker B: So to. For him, you know. [00:18:11] Speaker C: I've recently listened to the podcast again. [00:18:13] Speaker B: And Listened to just voice messages on my phone. As April hit, as May hit and. [00:18:20] Speaker C: As June hit, his voice just got weaker and weaker because even having enough breath to talk was becoming difficult. And as he got closer to the day that he passed away, he was going into respiratory distress and so he. [00:18:32] Speaker B: Couldn'T actually get enough oxygen to talk a sentence at a time. And then that came a few words at a time. [00:18:38] Speaker C: And that was my reference to him. You know, we make light, we try. [00:18:42] Speaker B: To insert some dark humor into it, but he was very much old school and SMS is a short message services and so when he sent an sms, it was only ever, you know, a few words because if the conversation needed. [00:18:57] Speaker C: To be longer, he would ring you anyway. [00:19:00] Speaker B: It was to the bane of his existence because in the end he was relying on having to text message and because he's. His dexterity also was affected by the disease, so he couldn't really use his hands like his fine motor skills had gone, so he was able to still hold cutlery just. But certainly texting and hitting, you know, the letters on a phobe, that was difficult. But the strength of his voice, he. [00:19:28] Speaker C: Wouldn'T have been able to do the podcast if he had have left it any longer, really. [00:19:32] Speaker D: Motor neuron disease affected Todd. It in a sense moved up into his body and into his chest and vocal. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Well, the form of motor neuron that Todd had was limb onset. So for him and it's different for everybody. [00:19:46] Speaker C: So I'm only reflecting on, you know, our own experience with it. It basically started in his right foot. You know, after a period of months. [00:19:55] Speaker B: It went into his left and then. [00:19:57] Speaker C: It, it traveled up his body that way. Whereas some people, it can be right. [00:20:02] Speaker B: Leg, left arm, could start their arms first. If their journey's longer than Todd's was. [00:20:08] Speaker C: They can still be walking for a. [00:20:10] Speaker B: Few years, but they might not have. [00:20:12] Speaker C: Upper body strength and they might need help getting dressed. [00:20:14] Speaker B: And when it starts in your mouth. [00:20:16] Speaker C: Region, it's called bulba onset. [00:20:18] Speaker B: And that's when a person will start to slur their. The first symptom of that will be. [00:20:24] Speaker C: Usually their speech will start to sound. [00:20:26] Speaker B: Slurred and they'll often be accused of having too many drinks. And that's how Todd's mum, that's how her mnd started, she started slurring. Things started to taste different as well. And so that's bulba onset. [00:20:41] Speaker C: Todd had no bulba involvement at all. So we were really blessed that he was able to talk right until the last night that he was alive. I knew it was like one word instructions or directions at a time. [00:20:53] Speaker B: But he could still at least communicate. [00:20:55] Speaker C: With me what he wanted and what he needed. [00:20:58] Speaker D: Incredible. To capture his voice and his. [00:21:00] Speaker B: Absolutely that time. [00:21:01] Speaker D: Because I can still close my eyes and picture sitting with Todd and also just chatting and hanging out and talking about dogs. He loved dogs so much. [00:21:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:10] Speaker D: He loved you, loved the family, loved the life. [00:21:13] Speaker B: Yeah, we're so lucky. You know, I'll do it a thousand times over, you know, for the nearly 14 years that we had. [00:21:21] Speaker C: It was all quality right from the beginning. [00:21:23] Speaker B: Yeah, we. We kind of just knew. [00:21:26] Speaker C: Maybe it was cause we were a. [00:21:28] Speaker B: Bit older, but the two of us. [00:21:30] Speaker C: Just, you know, both just. [00:21:33] Speaker B: Just straight away, you know, felt feelings. [00:21:36] Speaker C: That we'd never felt before. [00:21:37] Speaker B: Connected. You know, running obviously was the reason. [00:21:40] Speaker C: We met, but we just. [00:21:43] Speaker B: Just pretty instantly realized what we could see in each other. [00:21:47] Speaker C: And we both said it for years. [00:21:49] Speaker B: You know, he was the one who. [00:21:50] Speaker C: Said it very soon and within the first few months of us kind of really knowing each other, he said, I think we're each other's twin flame. Like we just agreed on. [00:21:59] Speaker B: We were almost the other half of the person. But we also kind of believed we were soulmates as well. So we just, you know, infatuated with each other. And those feelings kind of never changed. They were the whole. [00:22:11] Speaker C: Right up until, you know, he passed away. [00:22:14] Speaker B: So we just had brilliant fun, laughed. [00:22:18] Speaker C: It was just terrific. [00:22:20] Speaker B: I just think I've been so lucky. [00:22:22] Speaker C: And you know, we reflect on. We were talking before about grief and. [00:22:28] Speaker B: When you truly love someone or something, including our pets, it's a privilege to love them so deeply. And yes, it hurts so much. But I've got to go back and. [00:22:43] Speaker C: Read what Nick Kay said because I know he's spent a lot of time sharing his grief and loss of his two sons. And he said a really profound thing about grief. [00:22:53] Speaker B: And it changes you and it. And your heart never goes back the same. But when you've loved, truly loved someone, you find that, you know, you're absolutely broken to. It's not all people get that it's. [00:23:10] Speaker C: A rich journey to go on and. [00:23:13] Speaker B: I mean I'll trade anything to. For things to be different, but they can't be. So I just think I'm privileged to have had the time that I did. [00:23:22] Speaker C: Because I've forever better for having loved. [00:23:26] Speaker B: Todd and being loved by Todd. [00:23:29] Speaker C: Nothing really prepares you for it at all. You know, I thought that I might be along the grief process a bit. [00:23:36] Speaker B: Given that we knew that it was coming. [00:23:38] Speaker C: But now that I'm here, I wasn't anywhere along. [00:23:42] Speaker B: I was just, I think I was just somewhat prepared for the initial loss so I wouldn't fall in a heap straight away. I was able to get through those first few weeks and get through the funeral and I think I. Because I had, I'd had to picture. [00:23:58] Speaker C: What those first few weeks were going to look like. Me going to the funeral home, contacting people. [00:24:04] Speaker B: I had had that conversation in my. [00:24:06] Speaker C: Head hundreds of times of what and. [00:24:08] Speaker B: That visual in my head that I. [00:24:13] Speaker C: Hadn'T started grieving at all. [00:24:15] Speaker B: I think I was just prepared for those few weeks. The grief process start, you know, basically. [00:24:20] Speaker C: Starts now I think in a sense. [00:24:23] Speaker D: After the funeral and I think so. [00:24:25] Speaker B: I think the official, once the official stuff in term, official meaning the funeral, you know, I've just hit this next. [00:24:33] Speaker C: Realm of the death certificate had arrived when the girls and I got back from Bali. [00:24:37] Speaker B: So then it's that, you know, going. [00:24:39] Speaker C: Through the wheel and I think I'm ready to have my big ugly crying now. [00:24:45] Speaker B: But you're still having to have these formal conversations about, you know, the estate. [00:24:49] Speaker C: And then, you know, the ambulance bill arrives. [00:24:52] Speaker B: So you've still got these practical things. [00:24:53] Speaker C: That you've got to work through. [00:24:55] Speaker B: So it's just, it's really, it's every day there's something else and it's just, you know, I can hold it together for, for big occasions and then it'll be the little thing and that's exactly. [00:25:07] Speaker C: What people say, it's the little random things. There'll be a reminder somewhere. So we're still very early days. It's only been just over seven weeks now. [00:25:16] Speaker D: So the funeral was heartbreakingly beautiful, if that makes sense. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Yeah, it does. I get that sense. [00:25:27] Speaker C: I woke up the next day and just had a, a really great feeling that the send off went as, as. [00:25:34] Speaker B: Well as it could. If, if I had to have a. [00:25:36] Speaker C: Send off for my husband, then we all did him really proud. And that's not just the people had an official role, but all the guests as well. [00:25:43] Speaker B: It was just, it, it was a. [00:25:45] Speaker C: Really great reflection of Todd and a really great opportunity for all the people. [00:25:50] Speaker B: Who loved Todd from his different parts. [00:25:52] Speaker C: Of his life to all come together. [00:25:54] Speaker B: And because he was such a positive. [00:25:56] Speaker C: Person and very upbeat and it kind of had to be that way because otherwise it's too Sad when a 51 year old passes away in such a. [00:26:06] Speaker B: From such an awful disease. It could have gone either way, it. [00:26:10] Speaker C: Could have been horrendous, horrendously Sad, which. [00:26:14] Speaker B: Of course it is. But the way that he had handled his diagnosis and the way that he. [00:26:21] Speaker C: Had woken up every day from the time it was. [00:26:24] Speaker B: We suspected it was mnd, I had said, if the girls and I can. [00:26:28] Speaker C: Put our sadness aside for a day and we have to make this a celebration, because, man, he lived a really full life. Let's reflect that. And I feel that we were able to do that. And the feedback that I've had since has been everyone's just really, as much. [00:26:44] Speaker B: As you can love a funeral, came away from it and felt that they got to know Todd a bit better. [00:26:52] Speaker D: The speakers were incredible. And you spoke absolutely beautifully. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Well, I avoided saying things would trigger me. So talking about Todd and the girls, I couldn't do. So the girls knew that. [00:27:04] Speaker C: I said to them, I will be. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Avoiding talking about his love for you girls, because I just don't. [00:27:10] Speaker C: That'll break me up. [00:27:11] Speaker B: So I need to hold it together to get through. Otherwise, Erwin would have had to read my speech. And I thought if I just. I just have to be strong for this one last thing, because I'd. I'd been doing a number of interviews and things for HBF for the fundraising. [00:27:26] Speaker C: That I'd been doing for Motor Neuron. [00:27:27] Speaker B: And the awareness for MND for months, which I will continue to do, but I hate it. [00:27:33] Speaker C: I wish I didn't want to even. [00:27:34] Speaker B: Be in that space. And because Todd was so private, when I decided to do the fundraising, it was with his kind of pushing and. [00:27:44] Speaker C: Blessing to do that. [00:27:45] Speaker B: That was our way of sharing what was actually. [00:27:48] Speaker D: So you set out to raise a thousand. A thousand dollars? And you raised. [00:27:54] Speaker B: What was it? [00:27:55] Speaker D: Over $83,000? [00:27:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:57] Speaker C: Yeah, it was about $83,000. [00:27:59] Speaker B: So. Because the money was going to the Motor Neuron association of Western Australia, and It wasn't a GoFundMe, which, of course, when. When people found out that Todd was diagnosed, the first thing people want to do is help. [00:28:14] Speaker C: And because there's no treatment, there's no cure, people just then want to. People are incredibly generous and were like, well, we'll give you money. What do you need? And I said, no. Todd would freak out. [00:28:26] Speaker B: No, we're fine. [00:28:27] Speaker C: We're literally fine with finances. [00:28:30] Speaker B: Please don't. [00:28:30] Speaker C: And I had about five people ready. [00:28:33] Speaker B: To set up a GoFundMe for us. [00:28:34] Speaker C: And Todd was not cool with that. [00:28:37] Speaker B: At all, you know, and because people didn't know what was going on, and. [00:28:40] Speaker C: I knew that, you know, Toddy was. He was progressing pretty quickly. So when we were told, you know, one to five years. I knew it was going to be closer to one year than five years. Despite, you know, what we wanted and how mentally strong we were, it means nothing when it comes to the disease that just runs its own timeframe in you. [00:29:02] Speaker B: It was a chance for me to raise awareness because I was having to. [00:29:06] Speaker C: Have conversations with people about it not being. It's not ms, it's not autoimmune. [00:29:12] Speaker B: Todd's not going to live as long as Neil Danaher. Neil Danaher is an outlier. You know, for him to be here. [00:29:17] Speaker C: 13 years later, his family are the first ones to say that we're so lucky to have dad. [00:29:22] Speaker B: Because that's not the usual outcome. [00:29:24] Speaker C: It's called the 27 month disease because most often a person who is diagnosed with MND only survives for 27 months after diagnosis. [00:29:34] Speaker D: Well, I never knew that. [00:29:36] Speaker B: Yeah. So, you know, probably first symptom onset possibly was June 2023, which was a, a tight calf, which at the time, because, you know, Todd's been an athlete his whole life and goes pretty hard, it can easily be explained. [00:29:52] Speaker C: I mean, I get tight calves and I haven't. [00:29:55] Speaker B: It doesn't mean anything other than, you. [00:29:56] Speaker C: Know, probably a bit of I'm low. [00:29:58] Speaker B: In magnesium or I've done a hard session. So, you know, if, if that was the first symptom that Todd had, he then survived for 24 months. [00:30:06] Speaker C: You know, if that's what if, if. [00:30:08] Speaker B: It was from birth symptom onset, but from the time that it was noticeable. [00:30:14] Speaker C: Todd had 15 months. [00:30:15] Speaker B: So, so I could see what was happening and I could see the deterioration. You know, I'm trying to hold it together. [00:30:21] Speaker C: I've got people telling me that, you know, Todd and I have got years. [00:30:24] Speaker B: Left and it was frustrating me that. [00:30:26] Speaker C: I couldn't talk more about the awareness. [00:30:29] Speaker B: You know, just raising awareness of motor neuron. [00:30:31] Speaker C: And it's not an old person's disease. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Disease and it's not as uncommon as people think. The reason why the statistics aren't huge, it's because there's no registrar, there's no registrar of people who get motor neurone disease. So there's a lot of people who. [00:30:47] Speaker C: Have motor neuron that are in regional. [00:30:50] Speaker B: Areas or in areas it doesn't have. [00:30:52] Speaker C: To be, it doesn't have to be recorded or reported. [00:30:55] Speaker B: And so they're trying to get a register passed so we can actually get some real statistics because currently all they really know is that two people die. [00:31:06] Speaker C: Of motor neuron every day and two people are diagnosed every day. But the stats could be quite different than that. [00:31:12] Speaker B: So once a registry is passed, we'll. [00:31:14] Speaker C: Know a little bit more. [00:31:15] Speaker B: But once, you know, Todd stopped working. [00:31:18] Speaker C: I guess, which we went to Europe and had a, you know, amazing bucket list trip. [00:31:23] Speaker D: Tell me about your bucket list trip to Europe with Todd. [00:31:27] Speaker B: Okay, so the Europe trip in January. [00:31:30] Speaker C: 2024, when we were planning it for. [00:31:32] Speaker B: September, October was meant to be a return to Europe. I was going to run the Berlin Marathon. A week later, Todd was going to do the World Gravel World Championships in Belgium. And then we'll go to go to. [00:31:46] Speaker C: A few other places in Europe and have a great old time and then. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Come home and carry on. So what it ended up being was. [00:31:53] Speaker C: A bucket list thing because he obviously was diagnosed in the meantime. I had said, well, I could barely breathe, let alone run and breathe and. [00:32:05] Speaker B: Cry at the same time. So I straightaway said, oh, well, Europe won't be happening. [00:32:09] Speaker C: And he was like, fuck, hell, it won't be happening. We're still going. You're still running Berlin. [00:32:14] Speaker B: And I said, I can't run for. I can't. I was almost having panic attacks because I felt guilty for running. [00:32:21] Speaker C: I didn't want to run without him. [00:32:24] Speaker B: And I. Like I said, I kept on almost having panic attacks. And so running while you're crying is very hard because you can't get enough oxygen in. So I didn't want to run. And running just felt different. [00:32:35] Speaker C: It didn't feel right. [00:32:37] Speaker B: But of course, he was so incredible that. And running was the first thing that. [00:32:42] Speaker C: He had to stop doing because he kept falling over. [00:32:45] Speaker B: And because he had developed drop foot is drop foot. [00:32:48] Speaker D: When it's just numb or there's no. [00:32:50] Speaker B: Signal, then you can't your toes and the front of your foot literally just. [00:32:55] Speaker C: Drop so you trip over yourself. [00:32:57] Speaker B: That had been one of the first. [00:32:59] Speaker C: Signs that something was going on because we'd be running around Lake Gullup, which. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Is pretty dead flat. And Todd must have known it was something neurological because he only. I had started to notice that he. [00:33:12] Speaker C: Didn'T really have much knee lift when he was running. [00:33:15] Speaker B: We used to run stormy and chase in trig bushland a lot. It's really hilly and he was having. [00:33:22] Speaker C: Trouble getting up the hills. [00:33:23] Speaker B: And we were joking about how we're. [00:33:25] Speaker C: Just getting older and that kind of thing. [00:33:27] Speaker B: But I noticed that I was getting. [00:33:29] Speaker C: Further ahead from him. [00:33:30] Speaker B: And I said to him this one. [00:33:32] Speaker C: Day, oh, you really gotta work on your knee lift. [00:33:36] Speaker B: And he was like, what? You know, look at this. And that's when he opened up and. [00:33:40] Speaker C: Said, I'm actually having a bit of trouble here. When we talked about it, it wasn't a muscular thing. It was looked like it was nerves. And that was, you know, when we started worrying. And of course, within a few weeks, he'd had a few falls, and it. [00:33:53] Speaker B: Was almost like he was testing himself. [00:33:55] Speaker C: Would go out, he wouldn't stop running. We would go for runs and he would fall, and it was horrendous because he would literally just fall straight onto the concrete. And so that's when we kind of knew something was up. [00:34:07] Speaker B: So he had to stop running because. [00:34:09] Speaker C: He kept falling over. He was able to keep riding his bike for many months, and he was able to ride up until August. [00:34:15] Speaker B: So back to the bucket list thing. So I was ready to abandon Berlin. [00:34:20] Speaker C: I just couldn't imagine even getting through 42, you know. [00:34:24] Speaker D: Were you going to compete in Berlin, Berlin Marathon? [00:34:27] Speaker B: Yeah, Todd, Like I said, I was. [00:34:29] Speaker C: Going to do Berlin. [00:34:30] Speaker B: He was doing world champs the week after, so it was perfect. So then he was like, no, no. [00:34:35] Speaker C: We'Ll still go to Europe. [00:34:36] Speaker B: And for a little time, he was like, I'll still be able to qualify. So he really believed, we'd really hoped that his was going to be a slow progression. So I just said to him, I. [00:34:48] Speaker C: Just don't think I'm going to be able to get, you know, be able to run. And he said, well, I'm going to be riding, so you better get on board with it. [00:34:57] Speaker B: And he just, you know, he was. [00:34:59] Speaker C: Getting up and still going for bike rides. He's still, you know, the week that he. He'd been told he had mnd, he still went and did the arm. [00:35:07] Speaker B: His army annual physical test, which involved. [00:35:10] Speaker C: You know, involves a 3K run, and he's just amazing. [00:35:14] Speaker D: So he still got through all of that. Even that he's been diagnosed with mnd. [00:35:18] Speaker B: Still getting up and riding for two hours and then coming home and going. [00:35:22] Speaker C: On the wind trainer. And I'm like, oh, goodness, if he can do, of course that's the biggest honor for me, then I've got the ability to run. I'll do it for his. [00:35:31] Speaker B: He knew that I was only forcing. [00:35:33] Speaker C: Myself to go out because of. [00:35:35] Speaker B: Because of his inability to be able. [00:35:38] Speaker C: To use his body like he wanted to, like he's known his whole life. [00:35:43] Speaker B: So anyway, we trucked along, went through the year, and he kept going to. [00:35:47] Speaker C: Cyclocross events and gravel rides, and he. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Was getting weaker and weaker and he. [00:35:52] Speaker C: Was wearing a splint. And he. [00:35:55] Speaker B: Then he realized that he wasn't going. [00:35:56] Speaker C: To be able to make the distance. [00:35:59] Speaker B: Or qualify to make for the world champ. So I kind of thought that might. [00:36:03] Speaker C: Be my ticket away from running Berlin. [00:36:06] Speaker B: So anyway, no, I was. He was convinced it was absolutely. There was no choice. Tina, you were running Berlin, and Berlin was very special because Todd and I Both turned. Turned 50. Todd had run one of his best races at Berlin Marathon in 2008, I think it was. He placed just out of the top 20 in Berlin. It was the day the world. [00:36:29] Speaker D: That's incredible. Just outside of top 20 in the world. [00:36:35] Speaker B: At a particular world major. So it was pretty. It was very cool. [00:36:39] Speaker D: That's. Out of all the runners in the world. [00:36:41] Speaker B: It was the day that the world. [00:36:43] Speaker C: Record was broken on that day when. [00:36:45] Speaker B: Gabriel Selassie broke it. So it was pretty cool. So it's always been a race that he and I have spoken about over the years. So I had said I, you know, and. And it was Berlin's 50th. The 50th anniversary of the Berlin Marathon. By that point, Todd was really unstable. [00:37:01] Speaker C: He probably should have been. [00:37:02] Speaker B: It would have been easier for him. [00:37:05] Speaker C: To be in a wheelchair when we're in Europe. [00:37:06] Speaker B: But he was absolutely determined to be upright. So. And I think Todd knew that he was within his last few weeks of. [00:37:17] Speaker C: Of being upright. [00:37:18] Speaker B: And so the Europe trip was pretty full on in terms of stress levels because he was so unstable. A lot of people would look at us and because he was young, people would look at this guy kind of staggering. And he. [00:37:33] Speaker C: He looked drunk, basically, and. [00:37:36] Speaker B: But he refused to take a walker, so he had a walking cane that he would use. And we just learned real quickly how hard it is, how cities are not. [00:37:46] Speaker C: Very friendly to people with mobility issues. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Because uneven paths became trip hazards. [00:37:52] Speaker C: There are stairs everywhere. [00:37:53] Speaker D: Cobblestone. [00:37:54] Speaker C: Yeah. All through Europe. [00:37:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Just even getting. And Todd was still able to drive at that point. So he worked right up until September when we went. One of our great friends was also running Berlin, and she was living in. [00:38:08] Speaker C: Berlin for the year. [00:38:09] Speaker B: So when she had left Australia in the November, she left and Todd was this very fit, capable runner. Cyclist, you know, Man. [00:38:19] Speaker C: And I had said to her, I don't know whether we will be able to stay. You know, we're a bit much now, us Ingrahams. [00:38:26] Speaker B: We're a lot. And she said, no, no, you know, no, you're coming and staying with me. And she knew of Todd's history of. At the race and what he had done. And so I kind of had to. [00:38:38] Speaker C: Say to her, you know, he's having difficulty. [00:38:40] Speaker B: It's taking us about 20 minutes to. [00:38:42] Speaker C: Cover a kilometer an hour. Cause he has to stop regularly. [00:38:45] Speaker B: And she was absolutely divine and said. [00:38:48] Speaker C: I'll come out to the airport and help you. [00:38:50] Speaker B: And so she's only in her 30s and it would have been really confronting. [00:38:54] Speaker C: Meeting us and seeing. [00:38:55] Speaker B: Because I walk and handle his luggage. So it was kind of me handling that. And with Marlene's help we did. But this is an amazing story that Marlene had been at the. At a race about a month earlier and it was the Berlin Half Marathon. And she had her Sydney Marathon T shirt on. [00:39:14] Speaker C: And a gentleman came up to her. [00:39:16] Speaker B: And said, oh, oh, you've run Sydney Marathon? [00:39:18] Speaker C: And Marlene said, yes, I. I ran that last year. I was living in Australia and I'm. I'm back in Berlin living here. [00:39:25] Speaker B: And he goes, oh, I'm going to Sydney for the marathon in a few weeks time. It's a candidate for. To become the seventh world marathon major. And Marlene said, oh, yes, I understand that. I'm doing my first marathon major in Berlin in a month's time. And he said, that's wonderful. [00:39:43] Speaker C: I'm the race organizer of the Burley Marathon. [00:39:47] Speaker B: So this complete freaky, random situation. So unbeknown to me, this gorgeous friend has had a conversation with the race organizer of the Berlin Marathon and told him about our situation. So we arrive in Berlin, we get to her unit, and so this is on the Friday and the race was on the Sunday. So we're trying to work out the logistics of her and I getting to the start line where Todd was going to be. Because initially we had hoped he would. [00:40:14] Speaker C: Be well enough, strong enough to be able to still ride his bike. And he knew Berlin quite well and. [00:40:19] Speaker B: Was quite comfortable getting on and off. [00:40:21] Speaker C: The train with his bike and that. [00:40:23] Speaker B: Kind of thing to be able to. [00:40:24] Speaker C: See us at different points. [00:40:25] Speaker B: But it was very apparent that he. [00:40:27] Speaker C: Wasn'T gonna be able to do that. Cause he would get knocked over in crowds. [00:40:30] Speaker B: So airports had become a nightmare, train. [00:40:31] Speaker C: Stations had become a nightmare. I felt like his bodyguard because people. [00:40:35] Speaker B: Would just push past and he would fall on the ground. And so I was really stressed about what was gonna happen. [00:40:42] Speaker C: While I'm running. [00:40:43] Speaker B: Marlene said, I've got something organised. You can say no if you want. Todd kind of looked at me suspiciously. [00:40:50] Speaker C: I said, I know nothing about this at all. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Because he didn't like being spoken about. [00:40:54] Speaker C: And didn't like me making a fuss. And I said, I don't know what Marlene's Organized. [00:40:59] Speaker B: Anyway, Marlene had spoken to this gentleman. [00:41:02] Speaker C: Who ended up being the race director. [00:41:03] Speaker B: Of the Berlin Marathon and explained that her coach, which is me, but I'm more of a friend than a coach, she's coming over. And her husband, who ran a 2:24. [00:41:15] Speaker C: At the Berlin Marathon back in 2008. [00:41:19] Speaker B: Was coming over as well, and he's. [00:41:21] Speaker C: Been diagnosed with motor neuron disease. [00:41:23] Speaker B: And this amazing man said, well, what can we do? [00:41:28] Speaker C: Like, how can we help? [00:41:29] Speaker B: Leave it with me. Give me a call on Thursday. And so Marlene called this in true German style, called on Thursday. [00:41:36] Speaker D: So Marlene's German. [00:41:37] Speaker B: Yes, yes. And so she called this phone number that she had, and he said, I would. Would like to offer Todd a place. [00:41:45] Speaker C: In one of the lead vehicles at. [00:41:47] Speaker B: The front, so he can be at the front of the race, and so you and your friend can run the race and Todd can be in. And it's a. BMW is the sponsor of the. It's the BMW Berlin Marathon. Todd rode a BMW cafe racer for years. So there was just all these, like, lovely little connections. Anyway, so Marlene's telling us this, and I'm so excited because I thought, it's amazing. How fantastic. It's so fitting Toddy can enjoy the race we'll be in. I won't have to stress about him getting knocked over. And I looked across at Todd, and of course he said, oh, I couldn't possibly. [00:42:23] Speaker C: No, no. [00:42:25] Speaker B: And Marlene. [00:42:25] Speaker D: Oh, no. [00:42:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:27] Speaker D: He was going, no, no, I'm not having that. [00:42:29] Speaker B: No, I couldn't do that. And Marlene was amazing. She was. No, that's okay. That's okay. It's no problem. I didn't know whether to or not. [00:42:37] Speaker C: I'm. [00:42:37] Speaker B: I'm sorry, you know, And I'm like, do I. [00:42:39] Speaker D: Please tell me he did. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Well, by this point, I've. I think I've punched him in the ribs and gone, we'll talk about this. And so Marlene. [00:42:46] Speaker D: Oh, dear. [00:42:47] Speaker B: For such a. You know, she's so young, and she just kind of got it, and I think she made herself discreet. And I've just turned and said, that's. It's not even an option. You're saying, yes, that's a crazy opportunity passer. And the first thing he said was, he goes, I won't get to see you, though. That's the first thing he was worried about. And I said, don't worry. You've seen me finish hundreds of races. Don't worry about that. And he just was really upset that he wouldn't see me finish, because I think deep down Todd knew that there's not going to be too many race finishes of mine that he'll get to see anymore. [00:43:23] Speaker D: So would he have to be in the lead car and then so he could see you finish is to get out of the league car and then wait on. [00:43:32] Speaker B: Oh, and because the finisher for a race like that, they flush you out pretty quickly because there's, there's 54,000 runners. And so you don't hover, you get. It's literally a two kilometer tunnel that you cross. You know, not tunnel, but they funnel you out through the park. [00:43:47] Speaker D: Oh, once you finish, you're out. You gotta go. [00:43:50] Speaker B: Yes. You go under the Brandenburger gates and you, you cross the finish line and then there's just, there's fences and what have you and you've got to get out. And so Todd knew that for him to see me finish, there's, you know, one, there's grandstand, like there's a teared up area, but he would have to sit there for either three hours and wait for me. And then it also meant though him getting to the finish line and staying there. And he was still partially hoping he. [00:44:19] Speaker C: Could get around the course, but he'd real. [00:44:22] Speaker B: He'd already had a fall the Friday. [00:44:24] Speaker C: That when he and I went in. [00:44:26] Speaker B: To get to the expo for me to get my race bib even through the crowd. So he, the reality was he, he. [00:44:33] Speaker C: Realized he wasn't going to be able to get around the course unaided, like. [00:44:36] Speaker D: Without my help, unless you finished in the top 10 in that marathon. Like, what do you have to, what do you have to run in your division to be in top 10? [00:44:46] Speaker B: The female, top female marathoners are running. [00:44:48] Speaker C: 2 hours 15 now. [00:44:50] Speaker D: 2 hours 15, that's 42 kilometres. So how many miles is that? [00:44:54] Speaker C: 26. [00:44:55] Speaker D: That's crazy. [00:44:56] Speaker B: So, you know, the men are running it just over two hours. The women are the clean runners. Hopefully they're clean, are doing about 250. 220 is, you know, most made 217 to 220. [00:45:09] Speaker D: What's your fastest marathon you've done? [00:45:11] Speaker C: 245. [00:45:13] Speaker D: Yeah, that's a little bit poor for 42 kilometers of running. Oh my goodness, I am such a lightweight around you, Tina. [00:45:21] Speaker B: So anyway, finally I said to him. [00:45:24] Speaker C: That'S a ridiculous offer to turn down. [00:45:27] Speaker B: It's a, it's got to be a yes. And right from the beginning of his journey, the girl Tessa Lira and I. [00:45:33] Speaker C: Had said to him, we will support you, whatever, however you want this to look. We will support you in Your decision making. [00:45:41] Speaker B: So there was very few times I. [00:45:44] Speaker C: Could say no that I said no to Todd at all in the 15 months. It was just, yes, however you want this to look. [00:45:50] Speaker B: However, there was a few times where I had. [00:45:52] Speaker C: We had robust conversations and this was one of them that I said, you're. [00:45:57] Speaker B: Going to say yes because this is. [00:45:58] Speaker C: Just too good an opportunity. [00:46:00] Speaker B: And Marlene put no pressure on it. [00:46:02] Speaker C: She didn't mind at all, but she. [00:46:04] Speaker B: Said, look, I've got to make a phone call at 7 o' clock Saturday night to confirm the drive to speak to the driver and work out if. [00:46:12] Speaker C: We'Re getting Todd to the intercon, like where we get him to before we. [00:46:15] Speaker B: Get to the start line, which is also the logistics of, in a city like Berlin, to use public transport before. [00:46:22] Speaker C: You start a race. [00:46:23] Speaker B: And that's a bit of a stress anyway. And so, you know, you can't force Todd to make a decision. So I knew him well enough not to ask him. But by Saturday afternoon, I said to him, you know, Marlene's going to be speaking to someone in a few hours. [00:46:39] Speaker C: What's your answer going to be? And he said, oh, again, he said, I really want to see you finish. And I said, I just, I just think that the best thing is gonna be for you to go in the vehicle. And it's a pretty cool experience. And he didn't care about his own experience. He just wanted to be there for me. But in the end, he realized that that was gonna be the best option. [00:46:59] Speaker B: So the gentleman rang Marlene at 7. [00:47:01] Speaker C: O' clock on the knock. [00:47:02] Speaker B: It was the drive, the actual driver of the vehicle that Todd was gonna be in. He said, I've been given your name and number. I've got a passenger tomorrow. And she said, yes, his name's Todd. And so she found out the details and she was such a legend, hung up from him. So then she just went, okay, we need to get Todd to this station and he's going to meet us out the front in the vehicle. And so the logistics, and this is what people didn't realize at this time because Todd hadn't told. [00:47:32] Speaker C: Todd had still been working up until us going. [00:47:34] Speaker B: Marlene was in an upstairs unit and so luckily it had an elevator. So early on the Sunday morning we had to get to a bus stop to then get the bus to the train. Everything was just taking us so much longer. So even for Todd to get downstairs. [00:47:52] Speaker C: And for us to walk the, you. [00:47:54] Speaker B: Know, considering this is a man who used to run 220 kilometer weeks, 30k a day, to even be able to. [00:48:01] Speaker C: Walk 400 meters to a bus station. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Was so hard and it was so. [00:48:06] Speaker C: Difficult and would take us, you know. [00:48:08] Speaker B: 10 minutes then to actually get on a bus, like to stand and get on a bus, to get up the steps was really difficult. So we did it though. We got on the bus, then we. [00:48:19] Speaker C: Got on the train, and then we. [00:48:20] Speaker B: Got into the train station. We got Toddy down to the outside and here is this amazing man with a BMW with the race clock on the top. And he's just came and grabbed Todd in this bear hug and kind of went oompa and it was just gorgeous. And immediately very similar to yours and Todd's connection. Todd and this man just connected. And over the course of the morning, I didn't find this out till after. Obviously he was ex police officer, had. [00:48:54] Speaker C: A military background, also drove a BMW motorbike. [00:48:58] Speaker B: The only thing they didn't have in. [00:48:59] Speaker C: Common was that this guy wasn't a. [00:49:01] Speaker B: Runner, but he had driven the lead vehicle for decades, you know, a long time in the race. So there's Todd passenger. And then in the back there was. [00:49:10] Speaker C: A guy from the US who was doing all the timing. [00:49:13] Speaker B: So they were in the vehicle with the 207 group. So they were pacing the 207 group and it ended up the lead. [00:49:20] Speaker D: So the 207 group, is that the lead? [00:49:24] Speaker B: No, they were, I think they were the second or the third group. It ended up being about the third. [00:49:29] Speaker C: Group because I think it was, I. [00:49:30] Speaker D: Like the slow group. 207. [00:49:32] Speaker B: Isn't it amazing? [00:49:33] Speaker D: Oh my goodness, that's crazy. [00:49:35] Speaker B: Who was in that group? Was the leading German national, which was pretty cool because he got an amazing reception around the course. And of course in true, Todd can't help himself. Didn't matter that this guy was running 207. You know, Todd's yelling advice out the window and so, you know, he would say where the, the bend was coming up and it was quite amazing. So in the end it ended up. [00:50:00] Speaker C: Being a terrific experience. [00:50:03] Speaker B: And, and that started our, our bucket list trip. And so then the day after that. [00:50:10] Speaker C: We went and picked up a vehicle. [00:50:11] Speaker B: And Todd kind of knew at this point that he was getting down to. [00:50:16] Speaker C: The last, last few weeks of being. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Able to drive and probably even at that point shouldn't have been driving. He had been, of course he had been a former pursuit driver with the WA police and so one of a. [00:50:29] Speaker C: Handful of people who was able to be in high speed pursuits. [00:50:34] Speaker B: But he was an incredible driver. [00:50:36] Speaker C: He was very, very. His driving skills were excellent. [00:50:39] Speaker B: And so he insisted on driving. And what he'd said through his whole journey was he would do everything he. [00:50:47] Speaker C: Could while he could. And he literally did that for everything. [00:50:50] Speaker B: And so off we started. [00:50:52] Speaker C: We picked the. We picked up a campervan. It's similar to what I've kind of. [00:50:58] Speaker B: Got now, a multivan in Berlin. [00:51:00] Speaker C: And we. [00:51:01] Speaker B: We basically headed north and we started to make our way up to Norway. And over two weeks we traveled eight and a half thousand kilometers from. Got up to the. [00:51:13] Speaker C: To Norway. [00:51:14] Speaker B: We only did one flight from. [00:51:17] Speaker C: I can't even remember from Oslo. [00:51:19] Speaker B: We went further north of Oslo to Tromso and then we hired a car there and we went and saw the Northern Lights. [00:51:27] Speaker D: What was the Northern Lights? [00:51:28] Speaker B: Incredible. Yeah, yeah. Todd and I had wanted to do. Todd had actually wanted to do a. [00:51:33] Speaker C: Few cruises and we thought as we get older, we'll do a few cruises and we'll. [00:51:36] Speaker B: We'd do the Northern Lights. We weren't sure exactly where we would see the Northern Lights, but once it. [00:51:42] Speaker C: Became apparent that we're going to get. We're only going to get one shot. [00:51:44] Speaker B: At this, Norway was where we headed. So we. And Todd was a massive researcher. He did all of our travel itineraries. I booked hotels and I booked the flights and stuff, but the itinerary was all on him. And he did an amazing job. And he was also an inbuilt tour guide because he knew everything about places. [00:52:05] Speaker C: That we would go to. [00:52:06] Speaker B: And so you just would have this running commentary. [00:52:09] Speaker C: It was in my. [00:52:09] Speaker B: So I could afford to be so lazy because I just. I just knew every trip we did was incredible because he just made great choices and because we were so compatible, I was entrusted that, you know, we just, they were just. [00:52:26] Speaker C: Every trip we did was brilliant. [00:52:27] Speaker B: So we ended up, yeah, going into Finland for a little bit, but because of his mobility being such an issue, and we also had a very small. [00:52:37] Speaker C: Window of opportunity and I'd come to. [00:52:40] Speaker B: Realize that it wasn't a guarantee that. [00:52:42] Speaker C: You'D see the Northern Lights. [00:52:43] Speaker B: So we had three nights in Tromso. It was going to provide us the best opportunity to see the Northern lights if we could be there for a few nights. And then also I'd been recommended to book one night with a guide because this guide will follow. They all. I didn't realize how, how small, how close Finland actually was. But they all, all the couriers talk to each other and they tell you, like, you can be just around from a different fjord and you can have a different experience. And so they were all in contact with each other. And you basically start at 7pm and we didn't get back to 3am on this, on this coaster bus, basically. We had also booked some amazing glass igloos and so that was very cool. However, in the glass igloo you're limited to the sky just above you. And so what we, what we'd come to realize that if we just stayed in the glassy glue that we might. [00:53:43] Speaker C: Miss the opportunity to. [00:53:45] Speaker B: Because you do have to. It moves around like the lights move. [00:53:48] Speaker C: Around during the night. [00:53:49] Speaker B: So with the first night we stayed in the igloo and we also had this incredible woman arrive and there was like the Sami tent and she was like, you want fire? I make you fire. You have sauna, I get you sauna. And we were the only ones there. And she could see that Todd had a mobility issue. [00:54:08] Speaker C: So she was almost wanting to carry. [00:54:10] Speaker B: Him everywhere because it's so icy. There was no snow at that point. It was just at the turn of season. She was incredible. And she ended up because the car still had the summer tires on and the cars were all changing their tires over and she didn't want us driving to Finland. [00:54:28] Speaker C: But of course Todd was like, do. [00:54:30] Speaker D: They change them to chains or spikes or different treads? [00:54:35] Speaker B: I actually, I don't know. I was just going, look, you've planted the seed. Because she said, I think you should go to Finland, go and see the reindeer. I have a cabin there, X, Y and Z. So that's all Todd needed was like another reason to get in the car. [00:54:49] Speaker C: And drive and drive fast. [00:54:51] Speaker B: And then she realized that the hire car we had had the summer tires on. And she was, she came and said, no, no, I don't think you should go. [00:54:58] Speaker C: And I said, you try telling him. [00:55:00] Speaker B: That because we're off to Finland now for the day. And so she kept ringing my phone, asking, doing check ins and he's like. [00:55:09] Speaker C: Don'T pick up, don't pick up. [00:55:11] Speaker B: She was going to hold it personally. [00:55:12] Speaker C: Responsible if something happened to us. [00:55:15] Speaker B: It was brilliant because we did actually get to. There was a lot of snow in Finland. Like we came back then to Oslo and then we just drove to the south of Spain and it stopped like in a number of places. And yeah, we ended up in Valencia and on the way, of course, because Todd had. We kind of knew that it was the last time for Todd to go through the Western front to visit his great grandfather's grave site. We worked our way through France and we visited a number of Places that Todd hadn't gone. And Todd. Todd and I had been. Had done a lot of travel together and he'd also done traveling before I met him. So there was some places, though, that he hadn't been to the Pegasus Bridge and a lot with military background. But what we'd worked out was we could see a lot, but we couldn't do a lot because Todd was relying on the walking cane. We couldn't get to cities and be out amongst the crowd. It was busy and it was just taking a long time to get around. He couldn't be on his legs for longer than a couple of minutes without needing a break. So hence why we did so much travel, because. [00:56:24] Speaker C: Or while we were able to get through eight and a half thousand kilometers, because we weren't staying at places for. [00:56:29] Speaker B: Very long, we were driving, which Todd hated. He would much rather be more interactive. [00:56:36] Speaker C: And the trips that we've done before. [00:56:38] Speaker B: And we've spent days and days exploring. [00:56:41] Speaker C: Places, we just weren't able to do that. [00:56:42] Speaker B: But just some great, great places we got to go. And then by the time we got to Valencia, he was pretty tired, though. So that was a bit of a reset before we turned the car around and made our way back to Paris. [00:56:56] Speaker C: Where we were flying out from and flying home. [00:56:58] Speaker B: So, yeah, we had two weeks, which was pretty incredible. And yeah, it was. It was huge. And when we got returned the car back in, so we'd picked it up. [00:57:07] Speaker C: In Berlin, but we returned it in. [00:57:08] Speaker B: Paris, the guy had said he checked the. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Went and checked the vehicle and then. [00:57:14] Speaker B: Checked the odometer and came back and looked extremely concerned. Is this. This is the same vehicle? You know, check the rego. And I had learned to take photos of everything. He said, you've got a massive amount of excess kilometres. And Todd said, oh, yeah, I paid for a bit. And the guy goes off. How much do you think? [00:57:37] Speaker D: 50 miles a day extra? [00:57:39] Speaker B: And then, you know, as Todd's sitting there, he goes, oh, I actually only. [00:57:43] Speaker C: Kind of did it one way. [00:57:44] Speaker B: And so we had like a massive excess, like an extra €2,000 or something that we owed. But by that point we couldn't have cared less. I think this guy was worried that. [00:57:55] Speaker C: We'Re going to do a runner or. [00:57:56] Speaker B: It was worth every cent. And Todd had driven all of that. I had only driven the car a few times, just out of convenience because it was going to be too difficult. [00:58:06] Speaker C: For him to get into a particular hotel or whatever. [00:58:09] Speaker B: He'd insisted on driving because we. And we got back here and he. [00:58:13] Speaker C: Basically drove, I think he drove a kilometre and then handed his license in. [00:58:18] Speaker B: So he knew that that was going to be it. And I can say this now, we put a plastic lid of a container underneath the brake and the gear, like underneath his foot to lift his foot. So he didn't have to lift his leg quite as much because he lost. [00:58:36] Speaker C: All strength in his leg. [00:58:37] Speaker B: He was actually using his arm to move his leg from the brake to. [00:58:42] Speaker D: Was that in Europe or that was back here? [00:58:44] Speaker B: No, that was in Europe. [00:58:45] Speaker D: Oh, it doesn't matter now. [00:58:46] Speaker B: It doesn't matter now. But on the autobahn, I did have. [00:58:49] Speaker C: To remind him that we had children. [00:58:51] Speaker B: Back here and that driving at 160 was a bit of a concern as he's shifting his leg, hoping for goodness. [00:58:58] Speaker C: Sake that his arms didn't lose strength at all. [00:59:01] Speaker B: So, yeah, he basically squeezed every bit. [00:59:05] Speaker C: Out of his body as he possibly could. [00:59:08] Speaker D: So that's bucket list story. Wow. [00:59:11] Speaker B: And we had also done, you know, we'd taken the girls to Bali in August, we went to Thailand in July. And so, you know, the girls and I have just got back from, from Bali. And so the last trip the four. [00:59:24] Speaker C: Of us did together was Bali. And before Todd passed away, he had said, oh, he knew it was going to be pretty hectic the. The time and he said, oh, you, I want you to take the girls away. [00:59:35] Speaker D: Did you and Todd chat a bit about what's going to happen after and plans? [00:59:41] Speaker B: We did. And last year we spoke about it. [00:59:44] Speaker C: A lot because it was a bit. [00:59:46] Speaker B: Safer and further away. It got harder to do that because. [00:59:50] Speaker C: As it became more real and we. [00:59:52] Speaker B: Knew it was getting closer, it did get harder. Some days it was easier because we're just talking practically. But it did definitely get harder to do because it just. He just would say, I don't want. [01:00:06] Speaker C: To leave you and the girls and the dogs. [01:00:10] Speaker B: So. But we would have moments where we could get through snippets and then would. [01:00:15] Speaker C: Leave it and then come back to it later. [01:00:17] Speaker B: But yeah, so he had said, I don't want you girls avoiding places that we've been to because otherwise you wouldn't be able to go anywhere because we. [01:00:27] Speaker C: Did so much travel with girls. [01:00:29] Speaker B: But I also then wanted to the girls to be comfortable going back to places. So I had said to them, you. [01:00:35] Speaker C: Know, Todd wants us to go away. [01:00:37] Speaker B: Are you comfortable going back to Bali? [01:00:39] Speaker C: They said, yes. [01:00:40] Speaker B: I said, how do you feel about staying in places that we've stayed at? And they said, no, we're okay with that. So we, of course have just got back from Bali and in true, you. [01:00:53] Speaker C: Know, Ingraham style or major because the girls are, you know, Todd's stepchildren which so he treated them like his daughters. [01:01:01] Speaker B: Or felt that they were his girls. We went back to the same hotel. [01:01:06] Speaker C: That we were there last August with Todd. [01:01:08] Speaker B: So it was pretty raw, but it was restorative in some sense that we got through it. It wasn't certainly wasn't easy because we speak about Todd all the time and through this whole from in the 15. [01:01:23] Speaker C: Months that we had to kind of get our heads around what was happening. [01:01:27] Speaker B: Todd and I both spoke to the. [01:01:29] Speaker C: Girls about the time after Todd passing and what it's potentially going to look like and what it's going to feel like and that's how we dealt with it. And the advisors from the Motor Neuron association who were coming to visit and check in and make sure we're all okay, they felt that the way the ages of the girls and the way that Todd and I were broaching it with girls was really good for our situation. [01:01:56] Speaker B: So we felt. And that was just Todd's and my personality. It was how we were absorbing the. [01:02:02] Speaker C: News as well because we weren't, we're were so pragmatic and practical that we couldn't be in denial because we were in this roller coaster or this train that wasn't slowing down. [01:02:15] Speaker B: And so we kind of had to. [01:02:17] Speaker C: We had to talk about it. [01:02:19] Speaker B: It was terrible to do and it's. [01:02:21] Speaker C: Confronting but we certainly. We did it a few weeks before he passed away. [01:02:27] Speaker B: Tess. The both of the girls were home. [01:02:29] Speaker C: And I took the dogs for a run and when I got home I. [01:02:32] Speaker B: Todd was downstairs and the girls were upstairs, but I could kind of feel. [01:02:35] Speaker C: This bit of a shift. And I said, oh, where are the girls? And he said oh, they're upstairs. And I went upstairs and the girl said, oh, Todd had to talk to us and I said, oh, okay, you're both all right. And they went, yeah, yeah. [01:02:50] Speaker B: So then I'm, you know, gone back downstairs. [01:02:51] Speaker C: And I said, oh, you had, you. [01:02:53] Speaker B: Had a chat to the girls. And so he had kind of the father chat that no one wants to have. Of course it's important for Todd to have this. But he basically said, you know, don't use me as an excuse to make bad decisions and what's happening to us to be, to not finish things off to get into trouble. [01:03:15] Speaker C: I want you to do the right things, you know, I want you to finish uni, I want you to finish high school. [01:03:19] Speaker B: And gave them what his expectation was of the girls. [01:03:23] Speaker C: And he didn't want, wouldn't want anyone to use his passing as a reason to opt out and not do things. [01:03:30] Speaker B: And he, I know for Todd, he. [01:03:33] Speaker C: Had a conversation with my brother in law as well and he and Kel. [01:03:36] Speaker B: His sister, had a conversation and he just, he wasn't afraid of death. [01:03:42] Speaker C: He just didn't want. He would just say to me all the time, I don't want to leave you. [01:03:46] Speaker B: He'd say to the neurologist, I don't. [01:03:48] Speaker C: Want to leave my wife. [01:03:49] Speaker B: Because we had so much still that we wanted to do. So I guess we've always just, we've. [01:03:56] Speaker C: Been really real about it. [01:03:59] Speaker B: There was a maybe a little bit. [01:04:00] Speaker C: Of anger towards the end that was more of a like a kind of ripped off feeling is like, God, just, just five more. [01:04:07] Speaker B: And I think he might have even. [01:04:07] Speaker C: Said it to you. He's like, I just would have wanted five more years. And I said, well, I wouldn't have. [01:04:12] Speaker B: Because I would have got five more. [01:04:13] Speaker C: Years and then wanted more. [01:04:16] Speaker B: Todd had originally thought he would use. [01:04:19] Speaker C: Voluntary assisted dying because it's been legal. [01:04:21] Speaker B: In WA and to those who were. [01:04:24] Speaker C: Close to us knew that that's what he was going to. He'd been approved for. [01:04:27] Speaker B: Stage 9 is actually having the doctor to your house and injecting you with the medication. And we're on stage eight. [01:04:34] Speaker C: He was only a few weeks away from making that call and the night that he passed away he went to. [01:04:40] Speaker B: Bed and we thought he was going to wake up. [01:05:04] Speaker D: The dogs are such a integral part of Todd's life and your life. How are they going? [01:05:09] Speaker B: Well, it was Stormy's 10th birthday yesterday. For anyone who's listened to the Todd's. [01:05:15] Speaker C: Podcast would have known that Stormy was. [01:05:17] Speaker B: Our, our Kelpie, our 10 year old. [01:05:19] Speaker C: Kelpie who's been our domestic pet. [01:05:21] Speaker B: And Chase is obviously the work dog. So they went through a period of. [01:05:25] Speaker C: Mourn or they are still mourning. [01:05:27] Speaker B: Most definitely it was Chase, it was Stormy who had, was the one that. [01:05:32] Speaker C: Realized that Todd had passed. [01:05:33] Speaker B: So I had checked Todd's Pulse at. [01:05:36] Speaker C: About 12:30am and he was still alive. [01:05:40] Speaker B: And I had let myself go to sleep because Todd at that point, he'd been sleeping sitting upright for months and was quite noisy in his sleep and. [01:05:50] Speaker C: He'D gone really quiet and that's when I checked his pulse and he still had one. [01:05:53] Speaker B: So I kind of went to sleep because I'd been moving him every eight to 15 minutes through the day and the Night. [01:06:01] Speaker C: Cause he'd get so uncomfortable. [01:06:03] Speaker B: I had gone to sleep and the next thing you know, Stormy had come. [01:06:06] Speaker C: From the other end of the house. [01:06:07] Speaker B: And had jumped on the bed and he had detected that Todd had passed. And so because by 1:00 clock, Todd didn't have a pulse. So Todd's big thing about using voluntary assisted dying was also going to be the fact that the dogs could be. [01:06:23] Speaker C: With him and they could see his. [01:06:24] Speaker B: Body and know that Todd had passed. [01:06:27] Speaker C: Away and that they wouldn't be waiting for him. I was dreading that part of it going, oh, how's that going to be? [01:06:34] Speaker B: You know, I'm going to have these two dogs howling. Anyway, how happened? It was almost the way it had to happen because Stormy was so gentle and stayed with Todd's body while we. [01:06:48] Speaker C: Waited for the ambulance. [01:06:49] Speaker B: And the team from the coronials had to come. And the ambos were. [01:06:55] Speaker C: You have to tell them when there's. [01:06:56] Speaker B: Pets in the house. And Stormy wouldn't leave the bed. He just laid next to Todd Chase. He had jumped on Todd and I, I tethered him. He was on a lead, so I. [01:07:08] Speaker C: Had to kind of pull him off and I took him downstairs. [01:07:11] Speaker B: And so they were quite. [01:07:14] Speaker C: The dogs were quite amazing. [01:07:15] Speaker B: And, you know, we had a lot. [01:07:17] Speaker C: Of police in the house that night or that morning because of one Todd. [01:07:23] Speaker B: Being a police officer, the chaplain came and Todd's boss. And because he was a serving police officer, when they. When they pass away at home, an inspector has to come. So we had about seven police in. [01:07:34] Speaker C: The end, and the ambos. [01:07:36] Speaker B: And Todd would have hated it, absolutely hated that there was so many people there, but it meant that dogs had seen his body. So in a sense I could tick that one off. And it also then seeing how appropriate the dogs were, one thing that Todd had initially said he wanted the dogs at the funeral. [01:07:56] Speaker C: And I said to him, I know. [01:07:58] Speaker B: I haven't been able to say no. [01:07:59] Speaker C: To you, but I don't know if I can handle the dogs being at. [01:08:02] Speaker B: The funeral because they're going to lose it and that whole chapel is going to be beside themselves because I had images of Chacey jumping up on the coffin of Stormy howling. And I just didn't think that I. [01:08:17] Speaker C: Could handle it, to be honest. [01:08:18] Speaker B: And so we did kind of laugh about it. And I said, no, Todd, I can't. I'm going to say no, I just can't do it. Anyway, after seeing how they were. And then the police were absolutely amazing with offering a full police funeral, which. [01:08:34] Speaker C: It Wasn't a full police funeral. [01:08:36] Speaker B: It was bespoke. [01:08:36] Speaker C: There was lots of elements of it that were a full police funeral. [01:08:39] Speaker B: But when the guys from the K9 unit said we would like the narcotics dogs to be part of the guard. [01:08:48] Speaker C: Of Honor, how do you feel about that? [01:08:50] Speaker B: And I knew that Todd would be. [01:08:51] Speaker C: Blown away and he would love that. [01:08:54] Speaker B: And so then I said, if they're all going to be there, Stormy has to be there. And so one of Todd's, one of the guys that Toddy went, did a lot of trips away with Flatty. He's now in the trg. And so they said, well, he can handle Stormy, it's perfect. And so. And then another very close friend of Todd's in the unit, Mark, his dog May. Chase is obsessed. She's a yellow lab and Chasey loves her. And he was a bit naughty because I think he was trying to hump her. And so I think there are a lot of people. I don't know if you saw that, but I of course was, I was in the following. The hearse. We were having this. We're in the police escort along Sterling Highway. So I missed a lot. I had to watch that back on, on video actually. So look, the dogs being part of it, of the Guard of Honour, Todd. [01:09:44] Speaker C: Would have been absolutely chuffed with and the fact that they were there. And I was really proud to have. [01:09:49] Speaker B: To have been able to have them there. And I can't thank the K9 unit enough for that. And the WA Police have just been phenomenal to us. So since then they then had about 10 days and they acted out. [01:10:02] Speaker C: They were so naughty. [01:10:04] Speaker B: And Chase was just like a. I mean he's four. So he, to me, he reminded me. [01:10:10] Speaker C: Of like a 10 year old little boy who had just been told, you. [01:10:13] Speaker B: Know, no, you can't have your favorite toy. He was just on this search and. [01:10:17] Speaker C: Destroy mission through the house. [01:10:19] Speaker B: Stormy was age appropriate, just sad. He was absolutely sad. And then they just became stage five clingers. So I have just got these two. And even the cat, but the cat became obsessed with Todd as well. So for a while they wouldn't sleep on. So Todd and I have had a side of the bed that we've slept. [01:10:40] Speaker C: On for, you know, 14 years. [01:10:42] Speaker B: And that's obviously where Todd passed away. I now have, have to sleep on that side of the bed because the dogs wouldn't and they, but they want to sleep on the bed but they have to be touching me the whole time. So up until I left for Bali, I was not getting anything. And my sleep's been out for like, you know, 15 months. So we went to Bali and we had two of Tess's great friends come over to the house and pet sit. Fantastic, you know, and we said, look, they're kind of high maintenance, they need a lot of exercise. [01:11:13] Speaker C: And Stormy also suffers anxiety. [01:11:16] Speaker B: So went through all of that. Anyway, my. So Stormi's anxiety kicked off first because there was terrible weather here. And so my beautiful niece Stormi has. [01:11:26] Speaker C: An adult, an absolute obsession with my. [01:11:28] Speaker B: Sister and now my niece. They've got a pitch in their voice that he just loves. So Charlie was brought in to, like, come and help calm Stormy. Then Chase decides that he wants to eat a heat pack. And so we wake up on Sunday. [01:11:41] Speaker C: Morning in Bali to Tessie's phone full of messages going, you know, we've woken. [01:11:46] Speaker B: Up and Chase is really sick. [01:11:49] Speaker C: He's shaking, he's crying and there is. [01:11:52] Speaker B: He's vomited all through the house. [01:11:54] Speaker C: He must. And so we're like, oh, my goodness, what is he eaten? [01:11:57] Speaker B: Because he is a lab and he's an absolute guts. So he. [01:12:01] Speaker D: It's unusual. [01:12:03] Speaker B: We've had to wait down the bins because he will. He's worked out how to put his foot on the pedal to open the bins to, like, to the buffet. He's of course. And then he knows how to get toast out of the toaster and he's just. And ab. [01:12:17] Speaker D: He knows how to get the toaster out of the cupboard and plug it in and then go and buy bread. [01:12:23] Speaker B: Very clever dog. [01:12:24] Speaker D: Yes, very clever. [01:12:24] Speaker B: Very clever dog. Well, he knows how to find cash, so certainly does. [01:12:29] Speaker D: That's another story. [01:12:30] Speaker B: So we're up in Bali, I'm kind of pretty fragile anyway, and we hear this and so straight away we've kind of said, these poor girls, you know, they're three 21 year olds with our most precious things, our pets. And in particular Chase, who's like this incredible link to Todd, said, I take him to the vets for sure, have. [01:12:54] Speaker C: A bit of peace of mind. I'm sure he's eaten something gross and. [01:12:58] Speaker B: It'S just made him feel sick. Anyway, little did we know that it was a heat pack. So it was a heat pack filled with barley. So he's. Chase has eaten the equivalent of four cups of barley that has then expanded his stomach in his colon. [01:13:14] Speaker C: Oh. [01:13:14] Speaker B: So the X rays look like he was a drug mule and had inserted. [01:13:19] Speaker D: Like 30 condoms full of illicit drugs. [01:13:23] Speaker B: Correct, Correct. So he was a sick, very sick dog and wasn't passing it. They were giving him anti nausea medication but you know, he was kept at the vets. And of course, because you know, I'm. [01:13:35] Speaker C: Not sitting there going, well, do we. [01:13:36] Speaker B: Get on a plane and come back? Is this our beautiful boy, you know, our link to Todd? Is he going to, is he colon going to perforate and we're going to lose him? And all of those thoughts. And then the only thing that I could, that could help me breathe was thinking, well, at least Todd and Chase will be together and they will be chasing baddies wherever they are. And that was the only way that I could actually, I think I slept for about 40 minutes the Sunday night. What is, what is the plan? Imagining all the phone calls I'd need to come back and make to the K9 unit to Colblanche to everyone who's been involved with us being allowed to have Chase. Anyway, dogs being dogs, he had this. [01:14:22] Speaker C: Amazing, you know, once his body kicked. [01:14:25] Speaker B: Into action, he's recovered and he's back to, you know, full action man Chase. And so he's a bit skinnier and, and, but he's back on track. He, you know, ran 9Ks yesterday and he's, he's back enjoying the refit, the refeeding program of being able to gain. [01:14:45] Speaker C: A few, a few kilos. [01:14:47] Speaker B: But he gave us a real fright, you know, when I was brave enough to ring the canine unit and say. [01:14:52] Speaker C: Oh, hey, just letting you know. [01:14:54] Speaker B: They of course were just like bloody labs. None of them were surprised but you. [01:14:59] Speaker C: Know, of course were like, oh, you're joking. But then very relieved to hear that he was okay. [01:15:04] Speaker B: So Chase is back in action and going back to the Willy Wagtail thing today when I, I mean I sent you that picture because he, he was doing things when he was acting out, he wouldn't get in the car to come home. So this little bustly Willy Wagtail kind of, it's like he comes over to. [01:15:21] Speaker C: The, to the van now and I'm putting them in. And this morning it was like, get in the back. I'm watching you and Chasey just go straight, followed my command. Straight away the boys are back in. You know, they're settled again. Now. [01:15:40] Speaker B: Todd's in my marriage. And the way that he. When you're loved so much by someone and cherished so much by someone, it sets you up to be able to live life. And it's not how I want to move forward like as me solo. When you've had someone have so much confidence and trust and faith in you. I know that I'm going to be different and affected, but he's put me in a position to be able to be strong enough to live and honor. [01:16:16] Speaker C: What we've had, if you know what I mean. [01:16:18] Speaker B: It's weird to say because it's the biggest loss I've ever had and I never want it, and I'd do anything to change it. But we were so. We had such a healthy marriage, and we were so happy that if I completely break, then I've just wasted what he set me up as an individual to be able to be. [01:16:47] Speaker C: Sam.
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